Thunder City Dance Squad
Dance Before the Police Come!
This section will continue to expand as appropriate. Members are listed in the order of their joining.
Considered the margarine of the criminal groups in Thunder City, the Dance Squad began as a last ditch effort of runaway elemental aspects Tommy G and Dr. Bombomb to support themselves outside of the syndicates without actually having to work. Neither had robbed a bank before and were so stoked at their success that they proceeded to bust out a boom box and dance outside the bank until they heard sirens. Though caught on several phone cameras, no one stopped them, and when they managed to escape, the foundation of the Dance Squad was born.
Expansion as a Group
The group began expansion upon their third robbery, at which point Dr. Bombomb danced in front of a crowd and yelled, “SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT, THUNDER CITY BROTHAS!”. A member of the crowd, since dubbed Breezy Knees McGee, impressed the two with his skills and was invited to join the group. Since then, other “fans” have joined their ranks, including a disgruntled Wal-Mart employee (Poppa) and a directionless Jewish rapper (Mazzy).
Originally the Dance Squad did not engage in any criminal activity outside of their two bank robberies, but over the past two years, they have been committing minor crimes to push their personal agendas, and it is suggested they may even be causing trouble specifically in order to shout their tag line, “DANCE BEFORE THE POLICE COME!” They’ve engaged in acts of vandalism, arson, petty theft, drunk and disorderly conduct, and excessive cases of jaywalking. Most of these acts have been treated as nuisance rather than crime, and on occasion have received more positive range of reception, such as the Squad’s grocery cart theft from the store they frequent most. Manager Hathoway said she has given her permission for its use after the fact. “It’s free advertising, and they come back to the store to shop. If three grown men want to ride around in a metal basket on wheels— that’s an eye-catcher. Now if only teens would stop trying to copy them.”
Though the group is responsible for at least three deaths (all from accidental gunshot wounds from friendly fire) and over a dozen minor injuries, and very openly carry weapons, they become violent only when cornered, and run when confronted. Outside of their isolated robberies, they are largely benign. “It’s helpful to have them around when someone’s been drinking too much or comes to the club messed up, you know, on drugs. I don’t know. It’s some sape [stuff] the vampire guy does. I don’t know how it works… It’s saved me a few EMS calls.”
In a stunt that earned a lot of publicity when the video was posted online, the Squad kidnapped an investigator who was tailing them and recorded a half-hour long video of their members dancing extremely close to him. They then forced him to consume large quantities of alcohol and filmed a one-minute clip of him ‘dancing’ with them before tossing him into a taxi with his ride prepaid. The video’s description read: “Next stalker gets curlers and a mumu.”
Occasionally the Dance Squad has been revealed to be secretly behind several flash mobs, and less secretly behind other pranks, such as the placing of watermelons onto the heads of statues around the city or placing lingerie on them. They have also been known on occasion to streak through public areas (with the tag line, ‘LOVE YOUR BODIES!’). They have an active TubeTube channel run by their fan club, but remain relatively private outside of their very public stunts.
Members have been interviewed by the media twice. When asked why they committed the robberies, they answered, “We were out of money.” The group would not elaborate on what and there has been much speculation, including the suggestion of drugs or illegal materials. It has been suggested several times by outside parties that the group consider going legit. When asked if they had plans to do so, rather than resorting to theft, the group agreed that Hollywood ‘chains’ did not suit them, and that they prefer a life of freedom on the edge. “We’re not going to sell out on who we are. We’ve each of us had enough of that,” said co-founder Tommy G. When asked if they had future plans to rob another bank, the group’s only response was, “Yeah, the blood bank when Tommy finishes turning into a vampire. Fangs in advance!”
In their second and most recent bank robbery, the Dance Squad demanded everyone present to ‘Shake it!’.
Interactions with Other Groups
More of an annoyance than a threat, Thunder City Dance Squad brooks no public alliance nor trouble with the Syndicates or other street gangs, and unless pursued, usually remains on civil terms with the police as well.
The Squad openly praises Chief Irons of the TCPD. An investigation of a noise complaint revealed a birthday party for the Chief in an unrented apartment full of playpen balls and party decor with a large handmade birthday banner. The Squad expressed mild disappointment that Chief Irons did not attend his party or try any of his cake, which was “Chocolate, his favorite, too! Poppa and Mazzy made it from scratch.”
The Dance Squad’s official fan club is comprised largely of teenage girls from middle school through high school, though there are college and adult fans, as well as male fans. The club, while being notorious for their obsessive behavior, has a code of ethics worked out with the Squad to keep the group comfortable, on rare occasion having to ban a member for violation. “It’s true, what we do is kind of zoo-like. It’s love from a distance. It keeps everybody on good terms and happy. Celebrities need their space,” says Andrea Swanson, president of the official Dance Squad Fan Club, “They’re people too.”
The Dance Squad frequents Thunder City’s various dance and night clubs, but purposely keep no regular schedule. They are semi-frequent visitors of Rush and periodically attend meetings at the D Club, where they have been known to read comic excerpts and erotic fiction aloud. Member Mazeltov is a longtime regular of Euphorie. The members also frequent fast food drive thrus, though they do not own an automobile.
The Squad has released numerous albums online, always free of charge, with songs (particularly original ones) bundled with sheets and/or tabs. Because the Squad does not keep deadlines, there is never any guarantee when an album will appear, or what its contents will be. Albums are labelled “Thunder City Dance Squad Presents”. Those released to date are:
Shut Up And Dance (2163)
Instant Danger Add Wheels (2163)
Friday Night No Sleep (2163)
Squad Showcase (2164)
Results Beautiful and Unfortunate (2165)
The Best Things In Life Are Free, Including This Album (We Hope) (2165)
We Hope You Like Dreidel (2165)
Hug Life (2166)
Jewbilee 2166: Hannukah Is Fierce and Mazzy Means Business (2166)
Songs for You Classy F**kers (2166)
Before (y)Our Time (2167)
Vocals are performed by all members, plus members Breezy and Poppa variously featured on drums, Mazeltov on keyboards, and Dr. Bombomb and Tommy on various traditional and non-traditional instruments. The single, “With This Herring”, is played entirely on non-traditional instruments, including a fish.
The Dance Squad released one Official Fan Club Coloring Book and purportedly has another on the way, as well as a video game featuring Squad Members in the works. Fans are negotiating a documentary.
The Squad releases three calendars yearly from photoshoots taken by fans. Standard, (mostly) naked, and shipping calendars are available for purchase.
Dance Squad t-shirts are available on a print-to-order basis.
Recently the Dance Squad has legally acquired a semi truck. According to their fan club’s official blog, “This will make concerts way more feasible, as it provides a mobile stage for the Squad to perform.”